The club sandwich

The term ‘sandwich generation’ dates back to the 1980s and refers to a group of middle-aged adults who care for both their aging parents and their children at the same time.

More recently, however, the term ‘club sandwich’ has been introduced. This is because some people are finding themselves supporting parents, children, and grandchildren. Or, for the 20s-40s, children, parents and grandparents.

Meanwhile, having children later in life means those supporting ailing parents (and possibly grandparents) can still have relatively young children to care for at the same time. The 2018 New Zealand Census found that 432,000 people identify as unpaid carers, a portion of whom will be sandwich carers. And two-thirds of those are women.

 

 

The cost

There can be serious financial implications for carers. The State of Caring In New Zealand report 2022 found that 50 percent of carers generally had to give up paid work to care, reduced their hours of paid work, or retained their hours of paid employment but with negative job impacts due to caring. There are flow-on effects for savings and retirement.

At the same time, this sandwich generation may be supporting multiple generations financially, be it with university costs, medical expenses, or day-to-day living. A study from global comparison site Finder found that of 1500 New Zealanders with adult children, about half were subsidising their children in some way, and a third allowed their over-18s to live at home for free.

 

 

Emotional toll

Then there is the mental and emotional strain. Many of those stuck in the middle might be trying to maintain their careers or even rebuild them after having children. Friendships and other relationships can be negatively impacted. Wellbeing and physical health can take a serious hit as time is in short supply, and burnout is common due to struggling with the complex logistics of caring for multiple generations.

A Canadian study, based on 2022 data, found that 86 percent of sandwich caregivers reported at least one negative impact on their physical health and wellbeing, compared with 74 percent of caregivers for only adults and 62 percent of caregivers for only children.

“Large proportions of sandwich caregivers were most likely to report feeling tired (69 percent), worried or anxious (65 percent), and overwhelmed (50 percent) as a result of their caregiving responsibilities”, the study says.

 

 

Financial tips to help get you through

Set clear boundaries

Protect your own wellbeing: let people you care for know when you are and aren’t available (within reason). And clearly set out your financial boundaries. What are you willing to pay for, and what do your children, or parents, need to fund themselves? Ensure you’re not sacrificing your own financial stability to care for others.

 

Build emergency resources

Helping to support multiple generations can put you at risk of more unexpected events than usual. Ensure you have a robust emergency fund in place to cover unexpected costs. Experts typically suggest having three to six months of expenses squirrelled away in readily accessible savings, but when you’re supporting multiple generations, you may need more.

 

Don’t neglect retirement savings.

Ensure you have a plan in place to prepare for your own retirement. Having access to a workplace savings scheme, whether directly with your employer or through KiwiSaver is a great place to start. Consult a financial adviser if you need assistance.

 

 

Wellbeing Tips

Protect your mental health.

Take regular breaks and prioritise self-care. Try to find a small moment for yourself each day. And if you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, reach out for help - talk it through with family and friends, or a professional service.

 

Don’t go it alone

Try to avoid shouldering all the responsibilities yourself. Share the load with both older and younger generations if you can. See if siblings or other family members can help out more, too.

 

Find support

Organisations such as Carers NZ can offer support to people in the sandwich generation who may be caring for unwell parents while also looking after their children. Check out their website.

Written by:

Sonia Speedy

Sonia Speedy has been a journalist for over 20 years, working in newspapers, magazines and radio. She also runs an online platform for parents at familytimes.co.nz. She lives on the Kāpiti Coast with her young family and loves writing stories that help make people's lives easier.